Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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