Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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