You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Randomize
