i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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