When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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