I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
