I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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