I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
