Me too!
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
