We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize