Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
