I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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