that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
