We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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