you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
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