Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
