so that wasnt chicken after all
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
