I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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