Will you blow on my dice?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
