Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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