they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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