you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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