ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
