i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize