You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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