I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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