filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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