My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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