I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
