I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
