you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
