just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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