did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
