The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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