he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
