C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
