So drunk, too bad you don't want this
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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