She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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