I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
