I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
