is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Randomize
