Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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