You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
the room spins SO much faster in panama
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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