Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
