yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize