I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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