He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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