Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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