He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
