Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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