See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Is it because I queefed?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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