I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize