i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize