Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
What a dumb baby whore.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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