what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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