What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
