Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
