in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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