Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
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