You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
