Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
