Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
