Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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