whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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