And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
