Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
