No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
