Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
