I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize