i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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