White coat. Heels.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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