I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize