i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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