I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
