Just fell off a train. Bad.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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