Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
