Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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