She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
