Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
