alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
